Dude, Where're My Pants?
by The Lefty Matt
Summary: Someone had decided to rob my poor helpless locker while I sat dozing in the sauna. Not even my underwear was in there! What the hell would they want with my underwear? AkuRoku oneshot for 8/13/2010.


Hi everyone! {waves} Happy early AkuRoku day! I just wrote this entire thing. {laughs} I would post this tomorrow except for the fact that flaming bond and I are having an AkuRoku day celebration! By the way, this entire fic is dedicated to you, flaming, due to your amazingness, and your help with the title. Mi corazon es tuya. 3 I'll shut up after just a few warnings. This fic is rated for: accidental flashing, lots of flirting, more than you needed to know about Marluxia and some hot kissin' action~

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the copyrighted characters  
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The first thing that hit me was the heat. Then I realized there was someone lightly shaking my arm. I yawned and moved attempted to move away the hand, but to my surprise, I was curled up in the corner, and I wasn't on my bed. _Odd, _I thought, sleepily. _Maybe I fell asleep in my corner next to my bed. Oh well, I wonder what Mom wants. _Despite just waking, I remembered that my dad was at work, and my sister was out shopping with her friends, leaving only my mom and I home. "Nnn, what is it Mom?" I groaned out, my eyes still closed.

"Kid, I'm not your mom. " A voice from my left said a little angrily. To my horror, the voice was also _masculine. _My eyes snapped open, only to be greeted by the wooden room of my gym's sauna, and a redheaded man glaring at me offended. Whoops.

I looked around, immediately noticing that there was no one else in the small hot room with us. I could feel the sweat rolling off me, and wondered exactly how long I'd been in here. A small yawn escaped my lips as I said, "Sorry, I thought I was at home." I grinned sheepishly at the man in front of me. _Gods, his eyes are so beautiful! And his hair; I don't think I've seen anyone with that shade before!_ I quickly reminded myself that the gym was no place for picking up guys, especially gorgeous redheads that… _shit, he works here!_ In my daze, I hadn't noticed that he wore the same polo shirt all employees wore, with a nametag over his heart. _Axel,_ I tasted the name. _It was perfect for him._

He nodded at my apology, the offended look quickly slipping away. "It's okay kid, but you're lucky I came in here instead of Marluxia. " He shuddered. "God knows what he would've done if he'd seen you passed out." I raised an eyebrow; I was still sleepy, and the damn heat wasn't helping any. "He probably would've molested you." He responded to my unasked question. "Xemnas needs to fire him," Axel sighed.

"Oh…" I said quietly, while thinking that I wouldn't mind if _Axel_ molested me. Right now, please. I almost started imagining the pleasantness his hands would bring. _Bad thoughts Roxas, bad thoughts! _I screamed at myself when a giant red, X appeared on the mental image. Blushing, I looked away from the real Axel. "So, um, why'd you wake me up?" I asked trying to break the awkward silence that had descended upon us. I forced myself to look at him again.

"It's almost closing time, kid." He replied. "When'd you come in here?" He asked in that heavenly voice.

"Uh, around three-forty, I think... My name's Roxas, by the way." I added, tired of just being called 'kid.'

His jaw dropped, and eyes bulged when I said that. "Dude! You've been in here nearly two hours!" He shrieked. "You're only supposed to stay for half an hour!" He yanked me up, and threw me over his thin, toned shoulder. I yelped partially in surprise, and in embarrassment. I only had on this small pair of black swim trunks, and I think they may have ridden up during my nap. I blushed again, as he strode out of the wooden room, and then shivered at the freezing air around me from the air-conditioned locker room. "Okay kid, go shower off, and I'll bring you a towel. Okay?" He asked as he set me down near the showers. I nodded, dizzy from the sudden change of position, and the temperature. I was only able to mutter a weak "Okay."

He went off to get a towel, and I headed to the first shower. To my surprise, the other showers were filled with a dead silence. _I guess everyone left early._ I slipped off my shorts after swinging shut the frosted glass door for my personal shower. I turned the water up to comfortable warmth and slowly scrubbed off the sweat. I had to lean against the wall a few times, still a tad dizzy. After a few minutes, though, I was able to stand for the rest of shower.

As I turned off the water, I heard footsteps approaching the showers. "Roxas? You in here?"

"I'm in the first shower." I called out, shivering with delight as my name rolled out in that delicious voice. "Waurgh!" I cried out as something white and fluffy blocked out my vision. I struggled to get it out of my hair, and realized it was only a soft towel. I rolled my eyes as I heard giggles outside the stall and proceeded to dry off. I worked quickly, which wasn't too big off a problem since I've always seemed to dry fast, except my hair, which was being a more of a bitch than usual. I growled, furiously rubbing the towel against my crazy blond hair. After thirty seconds, I gave up, hoping that it didn't look too messy. I wrapped the towel around my waist, picked up my shorts and walked out of the stall.

Now that I was fully awake, I could better appreciate the beauty that stood before me. The emerald green eyes, the upside-down teardrop tattoos underneath them, the multiple piercings on each ear, the pulled back red spikes, those thin lips…everything about him screamed sexy. Especially that smirk that was playing on those lips right now. "Glad to see the towel didn't win that fight." He burst out laughing again, and I rolled my eyes at him. "Sorry kid. You feeling a little better?" He asked as we headed to the lockers.

I ignored the apology. "Yeah, not as dizzy as before. Thanks." I smiled at him.

He waved it off. "Just be glad I'm not a pedophile, Roxas." He winked at me.

I frowned. _Curse my body._ I thought. "I'm almost eighteen. Don't treat me like a kid." Really, was it too much to ask him to not think I'm only about fifteen?

He shrugged. "Still, that means you're jailbait. And while you're adorable, I'm not about to get myself in trouble with the law." Wait, what? Did he just call me adorable? Thank you to whatever gods decided to make this a little less awkward.

"I guess that's a compliment…" I muttered. We were in front of the first lockers. Thankfully, I remembered which locker I had chosen, and opened up number thirteen, only to cry out. _Everything was gone._ Someone had decided to rob my poor helpless locker while I sat dozing in the sauna. Not even my underwear was in there! _What the hell would they want with my underwear?_ I nearly yelled out.

"What's wrong, Rox?" Axel murmured, and peered into my locker. "Never mind; I think I can guess. Come on, I'll report this and we'll get you some clothes." He grabbed my wrist and tried to drag me out of the locker room.

"What? N-no!" I pulled back. No _way_ was I going to go out there with only a towel on. Just walking to the lockers with Axel had been awkward.

He pulled again, and I crashed into his shirt. "Com'on, Rox, we're the only two here, Now's no time to be shy." He managed to yank me out the door, and down the hallway to the small office and gym store. He let go of my wrist only when he was sure I wouldn't run off again, sat down on top of his legs, and dug in a box of clothing. "Lessee, you're probably a small so…" He rummaged in the box some more. "Ah-ha! There we go!" He exclaimed happily and threw a shirt at me. I pulled it on, and was promptly hit –in the face, again- with shorts. _Is he aiming?_ I seethed. "There ya go, Rox. Sorry, but we don't sell any underwear." He stood up, dusting off his knees and turned to look at me. We both blushed and looked away, because just a second before he stood up, I had pulled off the towel.

_Figures that this would happen. Damn you, whatever god that decided to let that happen! _I pulled the shorts on quickly, hoping that things wouldn't be too awkward now. "Uh, s-sorry about that. Um, I can't really pay for the clothes…" I trailed off.

He turned back to me, a faint blush still on his cheeks. "Don't worry about it. I wasn't gonna let you go home in only your swim trunks. I'll explain it to Xemnas, and just take a little cut from this week's check." I smiled, _dear gods he's nice._ Another silence lapsed, this time a perfectly comfortable one. We were both smiling, both lost in our thoughts. _I wonder if he's thinking about me. That'd be nice._ It was silent for another minute before Axel asked, "You want to call your parents?"

"Sure, mom's probably freaking out by now." I chuckled and picked up the phone on the desk, sitting on the corner while I dialed. Axel left the room; I'm assuming he went to lock up the locker room.

After a few rings, I heard someone pick up. "Hello?" A small feminine voice asked.

"Hey, Nam. It's Roxas." I replied, ready to get a tongue-lashing.

"Roxas? Where are you? Why didn't you pick up your phone? You had all of us worried!" Her voice shook, with either irritation or concern. It's hard to tell with her.

"Sorry, Nami. I fell asleep in the sauna room and-"

"Oh Roxas."

"-then I woke up about twenty minutes ago, and someone stole all my stuff."

A few seconds of silence then: "Even your underwear?"

I sighed. Of course Naminé would think of that first. "Yep. The only employee here gave me some of the clothes they sell here."

"You want mom to come pick you up? Sounds out like you've had a tiring day." Good ol' Naminé, always thinking about others.

"Nah, I'll be fine. I'll just thank Axel, and help him with that complaint. I'll leave in about ten minutes." I smiled. Alone with a sexy beast. Sounds like a bad porno just begging to happen.

"Okay, see you later Roxas."

"Bye Nam." I hung up the phone and waited for Axel. I swung my left leg, while drumming my fingers on my right. What exactly was I going to do when he came back? I wanted to tell him more than just thank you. "I like you?"No, something about that just seems… awkward.

_**Knock.**_"Roxas, you done?" He had to come back right now, didn't he? Yes, because that's how the world works. _I'll just leave that debate for now._

"Yeah, I'm done." I went over and opened the door. I smiled up at him.

"Soo, what's up Rox? They coming to pick you up?"He sat on the corner of the desk where I'd previously been.

"Nah, I told them I'd walk home. It's not too far away anyways. I was sitting there, you know."

"Too bad; I've got seniority." He stuck his tongue out; I copied the polite gesture. "You sure you'll be fine walking alone? I can drive you. It's really no trouble."

"I'll be fine!" He gazed at me skeptically. "What? I may be small but I'm tough!" I flexed my arms, earning laughter from Axel. I glared back at him in retaliation.

"Hey, hey. Calm down Roxy. Besides, you don't pull off angry too well. Looks more like you're pouting." He grinned then reached out to ruffle my hair. I swatted his hand away and turned around, my arms crossed. Very mature, I know. "Aww, Roxy! Don't be mean! After everything I've done for you this is how you treat me? Maybe I should just take those clothes back and make you walk home in your swim trunks!" He teased and grabbed me around my waist, pulling me close to him.

"Hey, what are you doing?" I asked, feeling the shirt being pulled up. "Stop that!" I tried to hit his hands away, but he only ended up hugging me closer. "Lemme go."

"What, Roxy? I saw you without your shirt on earlier." He purred into my ear. His hand ran up and down my side. I shivered, and looked at him.

"Thought you didn't go after jailbait." I whispered, my eyes fixated on those delicious lips that weren't too far from mine.

He shrugged one shoulder, still running the other hand on my body. "Changed my mind." He barely said before ours lips collided pleasurably. I turned in his arms, and ran my hands through his surprisingly hair. He hummed in approval, and his hand settled on my hip, massaging little circles with his thumb. After a few seconds of sucking on his bottom lip, I felt his tongue ask for entrance gently. I opened my mouth and our tongues danced while he explored my mouth. I moaned, and we broke off for air. I smiled at him, while he returned a big, dorky grin.

"So." I started, staring into those emerald eyes.

"So." He echoed. "Still want to walk home?"

I chuckled, and shook my head. "I guess I'll take your gracious offer."

"Perfect!" He exclaimed, and gave me another small kiss. "I just need to turn on the alarm and lock the door. Wait outside for me?" He asked, cutely. _Heh, he'd hate that I think that was cute._

I nodded, and we kissed again, a slow, sweet kiss. When we broke off, I half-joking said, "If we keep on doing that we'll never leave." He let go off me. "I'll see you outside, Ax."

I left the building, and waited next to the door. Not two minutes later, he was next to me. He held something out to me.

"I think you forgot about this." He grinned, handing me the small black, swim trunks.

I laughed. "They're a bit small on me anyways." I said as I took them. He started walking to the only car in the small lot.

"Really," He whispered, his emerald eyes growing dark and mischievous. "I thought they were…perfect." I shivered and looked away.

"Stop that, otherwise I won't be caring about going home." I muttered. _Damn tease._ I thought.

He laughed. "You can wait a few months, Roxy." He ruffled my hair.

"Yeah," I said wistfully, as he unlocked the car.

I gave him directions, and too soon were we in front my house. "Thanks Axel. For everything." We kissed. "See you on Saturday?"

"Sure." He happily agreed before kissing me one last time. "See ya later babe." He said as I got out. I waved as he drove off, and then walked to the house.

_Oh, there's so much to tell Naminé._ I thought; a wicked grin plastered on my face.

~-~  
Inspiration: I was at the gym a week ago, and nearly fell asleep in the sauna. {nod nod}  
Well I hope y'all enjoyed this! As always, please leave some positive criticism; moreover, if you spot any mistakes please tell me so I can bash in my skull. Have a great AkuRoku day!


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